Behaviour

Dealing with others calmly and constructively

Self-help, not a substitute for medical or psychological treatment. In acute danger to life or a medical emergency, call 144 (ambulance) or 112 first. In acute mental distress: 143 (The Helping Hand), for children and young people 147.

You don't have to be a professional to help others in a crisis. Often a calm presence, an open ear and a few clear words are enough. The following principles come from psychological first aid and are applicable by anyone.

Basic attitude: calm, friendly, non-judgemental

  • Radiate calm. Your calm is contagious. Speak slowly, with a lowered voice.
  • Listen rather than judge. Let people talk without belittling their feelings. No one has to "function".
  • Simple, clear language. Short sentences. Under stress, complicated explanations are poorly understood.
  • Preserve dignity. Treat those affected with respect, don't patronise them, don't decide over their heads.

Giving support — what concretely helps

  • Give orientation and information. Say what is known and what will happen next. "I don't know, I'll try to find out" is fine — don't invent anything.
  • Hand out small, concrete tasks ("Would you hold the torch please?") — this gives back control and breaks the freeze of fear.
  • Secure basic needs: a blanket, some water, a sheltered place.
  • Stay. Don't leave anyone in acute distress alone.

Look after yourself — your own oxygen mask first

  • Know your limits — you don't have to absorb everything.
  • Take breaks, drink, eat something.
  • You may hand over to others or to professionals.
  • For beginners: being there, listening and being honest is entirely enough. "I'm here with you" is often the most important thing.
  • Expert tip: avoid platitudes like "It'll be fine". Better to acknowledge the feeling ("That was a lot just now") and then lead into concrete action.
This content is for information only and does not replace medical or psychological treatment. If symptoms persist or worsen, get help — in acute mental distress call 143, in acute danger to life call 144 or 117.